At some point when we are learning a new skill, we will hit a (metaphorical) wall. Our performance will dip, to use Seth Godin’s term, and we’ll become frustrated with what we perceive as a lack of performance. My Muay Thai coach recently referred to it, to me, as “your ego getting in the way,” which is another way of saying I was standing on my own toe.
David Sandler said, “concept lags abilities.” That is, we tend to be better than we think we are; however, when we get into a cycle of frustration, or to avoid it entirely, we coach our clients to look back to move themselves forward.
One way to do this, which one of my mentors shared with me is to re-read our testimonials, letters of commendation or other accolades that we received in the past. My response on hearing that idea for the first time was, “that sounds dumb,” but when I actually went and did the behavior my spirits lifted, my mindset improved and burst out of the performance dip I was in. My initial hesitation and that of our clients who we’ve shared this idea with, is that some of the testimonials were written by people who we are no longer connected to. No matter how the relationship ended their words were true when they wrote them. By narrowing our focus to the words in the accolade we can get a boost.
Another way is an activity that we’ve coached many clients through. First, picture yourself as the person you were before you started learning the new skill. Then, with those eyes, look forward to the person you are now and ask yourself “could I imagine that I could become the person that I see in front of me?” We’ve yet to work with a client, whether we have this conversation three months or three years after starting our work together, who has said anything other than “no.”
Approaching our development with a “win or learn” mindset reduces the number of dips we’ll get stuck in, but when we do get stuck our gratitude for how far we’ve come already can be the boost that pops us out of that dip and onto a another growth path that we couldn’t have seen before.
Until next time… go grow.
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